my new one

so some things have changed in my life since the last time i was on this stupid thing...hahaha i guess this is someones way oof telling me to grow up. i have been very comfortable for quite awhile and now i wake up everyday with a sudden sense of urgency...i would love to say that i am motivated and excited and scared, but to be honest i dont know how i feel. plus dealing with someone else that im sure is going through the same thing has its good and bad moments. im trying to learn to deal with the way things are most likely goin to happen. i always imagined being in this situation with someone that i loved and cherished and held above all others and the feeling would be mutual. im not in that situation at all. i know that right now my happiness is the least important thing but it hurts daily to feel a certain way about someone to be constantly remind that those feelings are not mutual. i have to think about the future and how my actions now will affect the rest of my life and my responsibilities. i Re really shouldnt bitch